From The Journal of Joe the Peacock, here are some selections from some thoughts that came to him during a conference call with a potential client that was chock full o’ warning signs:
- Facebook isn’t the internet, dipshit.
- Oh for chrissake… AJAX is NOT A LANGUAGE, and you CANNOT “code” A WEBSITE IN IT.
- You want four million users by DECEMBER?? You have four hundred active licenses for your product currently! Nothing – and I mean NOTHING – is going to add four zeros to the end of that number in three months short of hiring Arthur Anderson to handle the bookkeeping.
- Wait… First you wanted to clone Digg… Then you wanted to “add the social aspects of Facebook to it,” and NOW you want it to be Wikipedia? Where the HELL did you spend your morning? In the “Web 2.0 Company Names to Memorize” symposium sponsored by the local Linux Enthusiasts club?
- Did you really just say you’re going to use ISS on Vista because it’s more reliable than Apache? Really? Cause, like, you know you can run Apache on Windows, right?
- Oh, there it is… The three letters I’ve been waiting for… IPO.
- Oh. Great. The Director of Development also owns the outsourced programming company we’d use in Romania. How… Convenient. Sounds like he’s the only one in this entire group who’s actually thinking about how to make a profit here.
- Is it impolite to just hang up and not return the call, or should I begin crafting my “No thanks” speech?