Categories
Uncategorized

“Halo 3” Cheat Codes, as Explained by a Neglected Girlfriend

Angry woman brandishing a rolling pin and “Master Chief” from the “Halo” series of games

Here’s an excerpt from the McSweeneys article titled Halo 3 Cheat Codes, as Explained by Neglected Girlfriend Janet Iverson:

X, A, B, DOWN, RIGHT, Y: God mode. Total invincibility to all attacks. You can just stand there and the aliens can’t kill you. Heck, you could even put the controller down and they still can’t do anything. You could even walk away from the Xbox and—crazy idea—talk to someone who’s been sitting here for the past hour wondering if that was in fact an actual conversation she had earlier about going to the movies this afternoon and not just an incredibly realistic dream. In fact, you could come back to the game three hours later and you’d still have all your health. You could even come back to the game tomorrow — while a certain someone is working a 10-hour shift at Lane Bryant to pay the rent since someone else was recently “downsized” from Golden Swirl for “managerial reasons” that I’m sure were totally unrelated to his habit of napping in the service hallway—and you’d have the whole day all to yourself. Incredibly enough, Master Chief would be in fine, fine shape.

51 replies on ““Halo 3” Cheat Codes, as Explained by a Neglected Girlfriend”

[…] “Halo 3” Cheat Codes, as Explained by a Neglected Girlfriend: “X, A, B, DOWN, RIGHT, Y: God mode. Total invincibility to all attacks. You can just stand there and the aliens can’t kill you. Heck, you could even put the controller down and they still can’t do anything. You could even walk away from the Xbox and—crazy idea—talk to someone who’s been sitting here for the past hour wondering if that was in fact an actual conversation she had earlier about going to the movies this afternoon and not just an incredibly realistic dream.” […]

this totily suck its like no cheats work who agress it is crap not ever the maker wald put cheats is a waist of time ]=

i would really like to actually find a real cheat for halo 3 i have already beaten it 3 time and gout all the skulls but i just want to find a god mode code or ifinante ammo. boom bam

you are all retarded, the real cheat is up,down,up,left,left,a,x,right, left,b,y but you must do this in the main menu. you people are all stupid

jhon… you can beat the game on heroic in less than 8 hours… considering there is 24 hours in a day and it took him 2 days, thats 48 hours, so, he could have conceivable beaten the game and still worked an entire weeks worth of a full time job provided he didn’t sleep. since i’m fairly certain he slept, granted no way of knowing, but lets figure 8 hours of sleep each night, so, 16 total hours sleep plus 8 hours game play leaves him with a whole days worth of time he could have used for more sleep, more time in game in case it took him longer, and of course eating, in short, jhon, if you can’t beat the game n 2 days, this game is clearly not for you, please do us a favor, take you fake cheats and find a new game

i think u should all grow up im glad there are no working cheats its to stop n00bs like u lot cheating your way thru, grow up and complte the game yourself, if your actually tht crap that you cant may i suggest a game such as guitar hero, altho u would propably want to cheat at that to….. nooooooobs

You people are all stupid there are no cheats for halo 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree the people who have claimed to cheat are retarded lire’s. Like my X friend SRGEANT SRG BVW he said he has a invincable cheat, a scarab gun cheat, and a infinit ammo cheat. YEA THE **** RIGHT!

hey the scarab gun is real i got it its only in halo 2 tho and it has halo2 i have the cheet book for all the hacks and everything.
but i didnt start using the book till i beet the game by myself tho.

You are all wrong! Here is how it works if you tried to use the freaking cheats online bungie changes the code so no one ecept them can be invincible. Ok. That is how the game creators and moders beat the system and cream everyone online. They cheat thats how they do it but even the bungie system has a back door as in it has to have a weakness if you modd. They can only ban you but not change the game.

Oh and my previous statement agrees with this if his god mode was active than he could beat the game in that much time. Oh and another thing if you are looking for cheats for halo3 that probably means you are a cheap noob who either sucks at this game or you just are too lazy or some stupid crap that means you suck. So please freaking play the game before you look for cheats.

u all are n00bs in a way cuz theres somthing u havent figured out yet i dont freakin care wat the cheat is i beat the campain in all 4 difficulties in 4 days (with school included)

but ya cheats are fun, but try to beat the ame without them, or is it too hard for u?!?! hehe

I’ve already beaten the game 50 frickin times but I want to see if I can beat my record time with cheats included.

You have some excellent cheats and cracks here, kudos on a great blog. I have just started my own, I am an avid gammer and would like to give back, so I am starting a game cheats blog, if you get a chance please visit and give me your feedback: http://www.gamecheatslive.net I have just started it up so I do not have tons of content up yet, but I will get everything up asap.

Thanks,
Sam

hey blackdragon i bet i could own u in Halo 3. A system is way easier to beat than a real person!!!

hey deathhunter, i bet i could own u in Halo 3. A system is way easier to beat than a real person! u 2 BIGM! The only cheat I need (if I did need them) would be one that unlocked all the armor! U PEOPLE SUCK IF U NEED INVINCIBILITY!!!

What do you mean down right with the analog stick or the other thing?
And also if you think noobs only use cheats your wrong then why ar you at a
cheat site.

why is everyone having a go at people who use cheats on a cheat website? plus using cheats isnt wrong if you need the code to get passed a certain part but it does take away most of the enjoyment of playing the game

these cheats are bogus they dont even work do like just getting a kick out of messing with people and plus guys their is another web site that says this stuff word for word this cheats suck

you all shouldnt use cheats because theres only one that workes is the cheat to put ur gun down

okay first of all for the people that are complaining about these cheats how did you come across this website?i came across it by googleing halo 3 cheats when you guys are prob pissed that you can’t get get the cheat to work ethor……..hahahaha

you suck, this is total bogus. honestly you must have a pretty shitty life if you have nothing better to do than to fuck with people who think they’re getting an awesome cheat but end up gettin mothing but soar thumbs!

What is with yall? You get mad at people who use cheats for no reason. Ive beaten the game 10 times on all difficulty. Now Im looking for cheats so I can screw around, is that so wrong?

“Now Im looking for cheats so I can screw around, is that so wrong?”

It appears that you are talking about playing campaign mode. If so, I don’t think anybody cares if you cheat. (I don’t.) In fact, I don’t care if you cheat in online play…so long as everybody you play with knows that you’re cheating and doesn’t care.

The people who are morons are the ones who think that they become good Halo players by boosting, or buying a modded controller, or a modded XBox, or plugging in a lag switch, so that they can have an unfair, dishonest, and most importantly LOSER way of beating people who would otherwise stomp them into the dirt. I know perfectly well that you can’t fire a battle rifle 30 times a second, and when you kill me that way, I don’t think to myself, “Curses! Beaten by a superior foe.” I think, “Another stupid dweeb who spent his allowance money on ebay and bought himself a cheat.”

Fail.

I beat the game already on easy. but now i’m trying to beat it on heroic. I just want to use it for the cortana mission. because ( i don’t know about anyone else), but i think it is sooo long and confusing. though I do think Halo 3 is a very great and fun game, I think cortana could be one of the worst mission to ever be made in the history of gaming. I’m just trying to unlock some achevments and armor.
P.S.- I am not a noob. of nearly any reasons i would be a noob would be because i am not used to Xbox. since I haven’t had it for long and i’m used to PS3.

As another comment to this site (and maybe others), whyare some people criticizing each other on why people who use cheats are idiots. because does it really matter. and the day that somebody (who doesn’t like cheats) is affected by someone who does use cheats because they used cheats is the day i’ll start to hate cheats.

Comments are closed.