Global Nerdy

I’m in Austin this week to deliver a talk at the Civo Navigate North America conference — so posting might be a little light this week. But here’s part 12 of the “Laid Off in 2024” series!

Lessons from The Martian

If you like sci-fi and are looking for inspiration as you make your way through the process of finding your next gig after being laid off, I recommend the audiobook version of The Martian, the book by Andy Weir that became the film of the same name starring Matt Damon.

While the film gave us STEM majors a memorable line that we’ll quote forever — “I’m gonna have to science the shit out of this” — the book tells a deeper story of perseverance, problem-solving, and perspicacity that is nothing short of inspiring.

I’m not exaggerating about the “inspiring” bit either. Whenever I’m working on a tough problem and I can’t figure out a solution, I put the audiobook version of The Martian on and put it on in the background. Listening to how stranded Mars astronaut Mark Watney assess the situation he’s in and uses his knowledge and the materials on hand to survive for 531 sols (those are Martian days, the equivalent of 546 days on Earth) has somehow helped me to:

• Relearn enough JavaScript and learn enough React to build a little web application that assembled a report for a telecom cost-optimization review, which a major tech vendor sold as part of their suite of services.
• Build the Python script that generates the weekly list of Tampa Bay tech, entrepreneur, and nerd events. It’s no simple assignment, as it must counter Meetup.com’s anti-scraping countermeasures.
• Write Augmented Reality in Android with Google’s Face API, my first Android programming article for RayWenderlich.com (now Kodeco), despite not ever having built an Android app or used Google’s API for detecting and tracking facial features.
• Pass my “audition” for Auth0 (now owned by Okta), where I had to write an application using tech I’d never used before (Auth0 and Spring Boot) and an article about that application.

If you find yourself feeling stuck, read The Martian or give the audiobook version a listen! As a treat, here’s the audiobook version, as uploaded to YouTube by a soul who doesn’t fear the copyright cops:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYGuGzmVleI

Peter Wheeler’s take on nondisparagement clauses

I know Peter Wheeler from my time at Auth0/Okta, where we met through initiatives where Auth0 would help out nonprofit organizations. He’s a sweet, solid guy, and he’s so willing to help out that if I had to assemble a crack team of a dozen people to save the world, he’d be one of the first people I’d call.

Peter gave me the idea to include something nice for the team that would have to deal with the company laptop when I shipped it back to them. That team also experienced, and they probably were feeling disheartened by the layoffs and having to process the laid-off people’s gear. I tell the whole story in an earlier post, The Box Came Back the Very Next Day.

In response to another post of mine, The Dreaded Non-Disparagement Clause, Peter posted a response on LinkedIn which bears repeating here:

The reality is – if you’ve got the time and energy to be talking about anything, it should be about what’s next and who you are. Not dramatically rehashing the past. Even in venting.

And with layoffs, who cares? There are thousands of colloquialisms and parables to answer any question that might be posed about your time and your relationship with the organization. “One door closes, another opens.” “Gave me time to pursue….” “Helped me see…”

My favorite, ever, and that I’ve adopted for myself when leaving roles and organizations – that came from someone I was hiring who was pursuing a title and duties drop –

“I exhausted the ways I could positively contribute”

That goes into so much, so easily, without saying anything. Lack of culture alignment. Role no longer what you signed up for. Team issues.

Feel compelled to be honest? “At this point in my career I’m looking for an organization and role that ‘positive statements’…” > “well I know what I don’t want to go through again”

Same thing. Different vibe you personally put off. And different risk in this case.

“Would you work there again?”
Is a very different question than
“Would you go back to working there?”

One is quantum unrestricted :)
Rambling. Bye

He also linked to this classic from the great jazz keyboardist Fats Waller that summarizes the definitive answer to the non-disparagement clause question: You Run Your Mouth, I’ll Run My Business…

Advice from the global financial crisis of 2008 (and Douglas Rushkoff)

Way back in October 2008 (this blog goes back to August 2006), I was laid off for the first time. I made the announcement in a post called This Gun’s for Hire…

…and wrote my first-ever series of articles on being laid off, Terminated, starting with The Very First Things You Should Do When Laid Off:

In a follow-up article titled How I’ll Ride Out the Layoff and the Credit Crunch: Friends, I cited technology, media and pop culture writer Douglas Rushkoff, whose essay, Riding Out the Credit Collapse, had a suggestion for riding out the global financial crisis going on at the time. It’s equally applicable to the Great Layoff going on right now:

Whatever the case, the best thing you can do to protect yourself and your interests is to make friends. The more we are willing to do for each other on our own terms and for compensation that doesn’t necessarily involve the until-recently-almighty dollar, the less vulnerable we are to the movements of markets that, quite frankly, have nothing to do with us.

If you’re sourcing your garlic from your neighbor over the hill instead of the Big Ag conglomerate over the ocean, then shifts in the exchange rate won’t matter much. If you’re using a local currency to pay your mechanic to adjust your brakes, or your chiropractor to adjust your back, then a global liquidity crisis won’t affect your ability to pay for either. If you move to a place because you’re looking for smart people instead of a smart real estate investment, you’re less likely to be suckered by high costs of a “hot” city or neighborhood, and more likely to find the kinds of people willing to serve as a social network, if for no other reason than they’re less busy servicing their mortgages.

I’ve internalized Rushkoff’s idea, which is why I do a lot of community-building stuff wherever I call home, whether it was in Toronto (this blog is effectively a record of all that work) or in my home for the last ten years, Tampa.

When you read Rushkoff’s fanciful idea of printing your own “local currency,” replace that phrase with “social currency.”

While you may want to work on your technical skills to land your next gig, you may also want to work on things like building a network of friends and acquaintances and building goodwill in tech circles. I’ve found that these are just as valuable as any algorithm, data structure, programming language, or framework that I’ve learned.

Also in this series…

• Laid off in 2024, part 1: The 15 worst minutes of 2024, followed by 15 more
• Laid off in 2024, part 2: First referrals and blue dragons
• Laid off in 2024, part 3: How are you doing?
• Laid off in 2024, part 4: Make the Year of the Blue Dragon YOUR year!
• Laid off in 2024, part 5: The next two weeks
• Laid off in 2024, part 6: The separation agreement / Money, money, money
• Laid off in 2024, part 7: Join me on “Surviving a Layoff” this Wednesday!
• Laid off in 2024, part 8: Step one — get a box…
• Laid off in 2024, part 9: The box came back, the very next day…
• Laid off in 2024, part 10: Unearned consequences
• Laid off in 2024, part 11: The dreaded non-disparagement clause

ℹ️ Remember that I’m not a lawyer; I’m just someone with experience with signing post-employment contracts. None of this should be construed to be legal advice, and if you have any questions about employment law and your specific circumstances, you should consult a lawyer.

What’s a non-disparagement clause?

Sooner or later, you’re going to sign a separation agreement with a soon-to-be former employer. In that separation agreement, you’ll likely find a non-disparagement clause. Even in the sea of legalese of the separation agreement, you’ll recognize it immediately, and it will look something like this:

Non-Disparagement. In compliance with all applicable laws and in exchange for the Severance, you agree and covenant not to defame or criticize the services, business, integrity, veracity, or personal or professional reputation of the Company or any of its directors, officers, employees, affiliates, or agents of any of the foregoing in either a professional or personal manner, or induce others to do so.

Notwithstanding the foregoing, nothing in this agreement shall preclude you from making truthful statements that are required by applicable law, regulation, or legal process.

In plain language, the clause says that in exchange for getting severance, you will not disparage your former employer. In legal terms, “to disparage” means “to criticize, belittle, discredit, dishonor, or lower in esteem.” You are promising to never say anything negative about your former company and possibly a lot of things associated with it, including the services or products it offers, the people who run it, and so on.

Think about it — they’re asking a lot. You’re signing away your right to say, write, or otherwise communicate things about your former employer such as:

• The people at the C-level’s plans are completely wrong,
• Their next product launch will fail
• You think that their stock price is going to plummet
• Their work environment is unpleasant, the managers micromanage, and they do surveillance on in-office employees and monitor remote employees’ keyboard and mouse activity to make sure that they’re actually working
• They suck

Basically, you’re promising not to say anything that would harm your former employer’s business or reputation.

Here’s an important notice: the part about “never say anything negative” in a disparagement clause applies even if those negative things are true or just your opinion (“I’m just sayin’, dude”). You are promising to never communicate anything negative about your former company.

What about your free speech rights?

Many countries have some kind of free speech law. For example:

• In the U.S., where I now live, there’s the First Amendment
• In Canada, where I spent most of my life, there’s Section 2 of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms
• In the U.K., Article 10 of the Human Rights Act covers free speech

However, those rights don’t apply to business contracts — otherwise, things like NDAs (non-disclosure agreements) wouldn’t work, and you’re waiving any such rights by signing an NDA or separation agreement.

What happens if you say something negative after agreeing to a non-disparagement clause?

If you sign a separation agreement with your former employer containing a non-disparagement clause and then say, write, or otherwise communicate something negative about your former employer, you will be in breach of contract. I am not a lawyer, but I can still authoritatively tell you that it’s bad news.

The career platform The Muse says that the consequences are usually financial. If your non-disparagement was in exchange your severance, your former employer may demand that severance back. They could also sue for damages, and lawyers can get pretty creative with calculating the financial value of the damage caused by your bad-mouthing.

Would they really go after you for disparagement?

As a consultant, I am qualified to give you the Standard Consulting Answer to that question: It depends.

ℹ️ Again, I remind you: I’m not a lawyer!

Of course, they’d have to find out that you were disparaging them first. Consider these scenarios:

Scenario 1: You and a friend are out for a walk. Your friend asks: “Hey, you worked at EvilCorp. What was it like?” You reply “It was Hell. Don’t work there. The people who run that dump have their heads up their asses, and the only reason they’re still around is a lack of competition and dumb luck.” Probably not a problem.

Scenario 2: Same as Scenario 1, but in a crowded Starbucks. Probably still not a problem.

Scenario 3: Same as Scenario 1, but in a crowded Starbucks right by your former employer’s office. Probably still not a problem, but getting iffy. There’s a chance that someone at your company will overhear you and will take action, or at least snitch to someone who’ll take action.

Scenario 4: You post “Don’t work there. The people who run that dump have their heads up their asses, and the only reason they’re still around is a lack of competition and dumb luck.” using an anonymous throw-away account on Reddit. Iffy. Reddit has a large user base, but the details in your post or your writing style might give you away.

Scenario 5: Same as Scenario 4, but on Blind. Iffy. Blind is anonymous, but its user base is relatively small. There’s a much greater likelihood that what you post or your writing style might give you away.

Scenario 6: Same as Scenario 4, but on Facebook. A little risky if it’s a “friends only” posting, bad if it’s public. This is especially true with companies that have a social media team.

Scenario 7: Same as Scenario 4, but on LinkedIn. Superbad. Lots of people at a company scan for any mention of their company’s name on LinkedIn: social media teams, public relations, marketing, executives, and of course, the legal team.

If they find out, what they do in response depends on all sorts of factors, including:

• What’s the size of the company? A small one with fewer resources, a big one with a PR, Marketing, and Legal team, or something in between?
• Are they too busy to be concerned about you, or are they vindictive and lawsuit-happy?
• What did you say? How much damage did you do to their reputation?
• Are you worth going after?

Are there exceptions to the non-disparagement clause?

There are, and they include things such as:

• Reporting a crime committed by someone at your former employer
• Reporting criminal activity by your former employer
• Providing negative information about your former employer to law enforcement or a government agency conducting an investigation
• Filing a workers’ compensation claim

I read somewhere that non-disparagement clauses were rendered invalid in the same way that non-compete laws were. How about that?

I read it somewhere too.

I keep telling you: I am not a lawyer. Go ask one.

What I can definitively tell you, in spite of NOT being a lawyer, is that non-disparagement clauses are still being included in separation agreements, which are contracts. I know, because there was one in the one I signed.

Is there any reason I wouldn’t want to sign a separation agreement with a non-disparagement clause?

I’ve never had such a reason myself, but I’ve seen cases where that might be the case:

• The reasons listed in the section about exceptions (see above)
• If you are taking your former employer to court for harassment, bullying, or a similar reason
• If there is something that the world really, really, really needs to know about your former employer
• If you’re a free speech absolutist and you can get by without the severance

I’ve spoken with some people who’ve come to me for advice about their non-disparagement agreements because the thought of never saying anything bad about their old company really ground their gears.

In response, I asked them if there were any situations where they’ve opted to shut up rather than speak the truth because it was worth it:

• Have you ever not said something or refused to answer a question because it was told to you in confidence or protect someone’s privacy? Even if doing so made you look bad or got you into trouble?
• Have you ever refrained from expressing your true opinion about something because it would make the situation worse?
• In a discussion with a spouse or partner, are there topics you won’t touch or things you won’t say because bringing them up will just create a world of hurt — or divorce?

This is a call that you have to make for yourself.

So what did you do, Joey?

Here’s what I’ve done with separation agreements that contain non-disparagement clauses. Please keep in mind that I am not a lawyer, and even if I were, I’m not your lawyer, and this is not legal advice:

I signed them.

I’ve also avoided saying, writing, or doing anything negative about those companies. But keep in mind that none of those places were anywhere near bad enough for me to breach the agreement and bad-mouth them to the world.

Even though I’m in a good spot financially and have savings to see me through this kind of situation, I signed and took the severance because any issue I have with my former employer isn’t worth as much as having extra money to extend my financial runway. The current job market is tough, and I want to have the reserves to ride out a long job search.

In my particular case — and remember, everyone’s case is different — I would come off more as an angry Yelp reviewer than an avenging angel if I were to publicly bad-mouth a former employer. To do so would be a waste of my time and effort that could be directed towards better things.

Instead, I moved on with my life to the next success, singing this song along the way…

…except in the part where he yells out “DJ Khaled!” I yell out “Accordion Guy!” instead.

Also in this series…

• Laid off in 2024, part 1: The 15 worst minutes of 2024, followed by 15 more
• Laid off in 2024, part 2: First referrals and blue dragons
• Laid off in 2024, part 3: How are you doing?
• Laid off in 2024, part 4: Make the Year of the Blue Dragon YOUR year!
• Laid off in 2024, part 5: The next two weeks
• Laid off in 2024, part 6: The separation agreement / Money, money, money
• Laid off in 2024, part 7: Join me on “Surviving a Layoff” this Wednesday!
• Laid off in 2024, part 8: Step one — get a box…
• Laid off in 2024, part 9: The box came back, the very next day…
• Laid off in 2024, part 10: Unearned consequences

Remember the company laptop that I packed in a box and sent back to my former employer yesterday? Like some monkey’s paw curse or the cat from children’s song The Cat Came Back, that same box was just delivered… back to my place!

This is far from my first FedEx rodeo. I’ve shipped lots of stuff in return boxes and crates, and I’m used to the procedure: find the return label, put it in the protective clear plastic sleeve, stick the sleeve onto the package, and you’re done! (See the photo above for an actual real-life example of the many, many packages I have successfully shipped.)

I took a quick look at the shipping label and confirmed my suspicions: the return label had my home address, not my former employer’s head office address! I didn’t even look at the address on the return label and just attached it on “autopilot” — probably because I just wanted to move on to my next gig.

Luckily, I have a duplicate label from the time I returned my original company computer (a 2018-era Intel PowerBook) in exchange for its replacement (a 2022-era M1 Max PowerBook). I can easily stick that label on and make a quick run to the nearby FedEx place.

But why do only that?

Inside every mistake is an opportunity

Forget the debate over whether the Chinese characters for “crisis” actually include the character for “opportunity…”

…I have a philosophy that every mistake contains an opportunity. Inspired by an idea from my former coworker Peter Wheeler, I got a Lunar New Year “red envelopes” — hong bao in Mandarin, lai see in Cantonese, and yes, I keep a stash of them for special occasions — put four quarters in it, along with a handwritten message.

Here’s the text of the message:

Hello, BT person!

I hope all’s well at the mothership. This is a quick note to say thanks for dealing with the box and its contents. It’s a weird time for us all, and I wanted you to know that you are appreciated!

I’ve included a Lunar New Year “red envelope” to say thanks for all you do. There’s a dollar inside for good luck — don’t spend it until next Lunar New Year, or you’ll break the good luck charm!

Your friend and former Oktanaut,
Joey de Villa

The BT department, who manage the company’s business tech and have to handle the intake of hundreds of these returned computers, were also downsized. I had a chance to make someone’s day a little better, so why not?

Of course, this meant opening the box, adding the hong bao and note…

…and then re-sealing it, but I think it’s worth it.

I’ve sealed the box again, and as I write this, I’m about to head back to the FedEx place to ship it a second time. Wish me luck!

Bonus video

In case you’re not familiar with the son The Cat Came Back, here’s a classic film that Canadian schoolchildren from my generation grew up with that features the song:

Also in this series…

• Laid off in 2024, part 1: The 15 worst minutes of 2024, followed by 15 more
• Laid off in 2024, part 2: First referrals and blue dragons
• Laid off in 2024, part 3: How are you doing?
• Laid off in 2024, part 4: Make the Year of the Blue Dragon YOUR year!
• Laid off in 2024, part 5: The next two weeks
• Laid off in 2024, part 6: The separation agreement / Money, money, money
• Laid off in 2024, part 7: Join me on “Surviving a Layoff” this Wednesday!
• Laid off in 2024, part 8: Step one — get a box…