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The Exceptional Squishy Cow

The Exceptional CowMark Mansour at the State of Flux blog wrote this about how he and his fellow developers use a Squishy Cow to do agile development:

At our end of iteration review, like all good agile shops, we go through what’s good, what could be done better, what still puzzles us and what we are going to do next time (but details on this are for another post). We also have The Exceptional Cow™.

Whoever has the cow is responsible for triaging all incoming exceptions for that iteration. At the end of each iteration The Exceptional Cow is ceremoniously passed to the next bovine herder. As the cow herder, you have the responsibility of examining all incoming exceptions and fixing it if it is a no brainer or writing it up as a bug for someone else to fix if you don’t have the time or if someone else has a much better grasp on the issue. Quite often all exceptions for the week are attacked in the final hours before we close off the iteration as we don’t want to start new functionality at that point.

Simply put, whoever currently possesses the cow is responsible for handling any bugs, whether it’s by fixing them or writing them up in a bug report. It’s rather reminiscent of the “talking stick” tradition among North American natives or the conch in Lord of the Flies.

It’s the most interesting and practical use for a Tucows Squishy Cow that I’ve seen yet.

(Cross-posted to the Tucows Developer Blog)

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I Love the Cover of the Latest “Onion Weekender”

Cover of the “Onion Weekender”: “Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg — We sit down with the Smug Little Shit Behind the Latest Internet Phenomenon”

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In Praise of the “Demo Button”

Synthesizer Demo Buttons

I suppose my playing the accordion is a development resulting directly from my dislike of being tied down behind keyboard stacks. That’s why, prior to my getting my first accordion, I was an aficionado of the uncoolest way to play keyboards: the keytar. I’ve rented a number and owned two. My first was the Yamaha SHS-10, pictured below:

Yamaha SHS-10 “keytar”

The next keytar was the one pictured below, the Yamaha SHS-200. I’m on my second one of these:

Yamaha SHS-200 “Keytar”

These two keyboards were released in the late 1980’s and were among the first wave of synthesizers to come with a “demo button”. The first affordable “workstation” synths were appearing on the market around then — these were synths that had enough sounds for pop songs, from keyboards to strings and horns to guitars and drums — and many of them also had sequencers, which could record “perfomance data” (that is, the keys you pressed and also how you pressed them). Pressing the demo button would start up a built-in song that would demonstrate the sound and recording capabilities of the keyboard. In the case of the SHS-200, the demo song was an obviously Japanese jazz fusion number, while for the SHS-10, Yamaha had somehow managed to licence Last Christmas by George Michael’s old group, Wham! I recall that the Roland D-5 synth had a pretty good intro to its demo song — so good that the Happy Mondays sampled it as the intro to one of their numbers.

Although these demo songs were cheesy, they were still useful in the showroom, as they gave the synth shopper a decent idea of a given keyboard’s sonic capabilities. It’s been a dog’s age since I hung around a keyboard showroom checking out the latest models, but I’m pretty sure that many synths, especially the ones aimed at hobbyists and amateur musicians, still have demo buttons.

html2wiki’s Demo Button

I found the html2wiki page by way of Reddit. It takes HTML that you type or paste in or HTML from an URL and converts it to wikitext, which you can then copy and paste into a wiki:

Screenshot of html2Wiki, with the demo button highlighted.
Click the screenshot to go to the html2wiki page.

When I thought about giving it a try, I thought “Well, I’d better go look around for some suitable HTML to try,” when I noticed the Use Sample HTML at the bottom of the form. I clicked that and a moment later, I had sample HTML as well as its conversion to wikitext.

There’s all sorts of research as well as personal experience that suggests that web users are an impatient sort. A lot of people might have navigated away and never seen html2wiki in action had it not been for that sample button. By providing that “demo button” at the bottom of the form, the creators of the page removed a small but not insignificant barrier to taking html2wiki for a test spin and provided a moment of satisfaction that users will remember.

It’s got me thinking about the software and services that I work on — are there places where a demo button would come in handy?

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The Ultimate Expression of “It’s Not a Bug, It’s a Feature!”

I’d be willing to bet big money that the owner of this car is a developer or some other high-tech type:

Old VW Beetle with the licence plate that reads “FEATURE”.

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Facebook Development: Groups, Part 2

“Rand Corporation” fake computer image, doctored to include some Facebook logos.

Over at the Tucows Developer Blog, I have yet another installment in my series of articles on developing Facebook Applications using their PHP 5 client library. In this article, I look at the FacebookRestClient class’ groups_getMembers method.

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Valleywag Picks Up the QSOL Tasteless Ad Story

Remember those articles from a couple of weeks back — the ones about QSOL’s ads for their servers with the tagline “Don’t feel bad. Our servers won’t go down on you either”? Valleywag has picked up the story in an article titled A blowjob ad reappears in Linux Journal.

The article concludes with this observation:

Obviously QSol ran the ad to titillate and shock, and get talked about — and from that perspective, the company has succeeded. But then there’s the quality of the ad itself. Leave aside the broken promises, and the ad’s tiresome execution. Why would you want to buy servers from a company that clearly hasn’t had a new idea in seven years?

Side-by-side comparison of QSOL’s “Our servers won’t go down on you either” ads from 2000 and 2007.

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Would Tucows Have Failed Andy Brice’s “Software Awards” Test?

Five squishy cows turning their backs to a pile of $20 bills.

Having been made suspicious by the large number of “5-star” ratings his software got from download sites, Andy Brice of Successful Software decided to run a little experiment. He took a text file with these words:

This software does nothing.

It doesn’t even run.

I was created as an experiment to see how many shareware awards it got.

See the results of the experiment at:

www.successfulsoftware.net

He gave the file an .exe extension and gave it the asking-to-be-caught name “awardmestars”. He also included a PAD file — that’s “Portable Application Decsription”, a standard for describing software in the shareware industry — that clearly indicated that the software did nothing at all.

In spite of all the warnings he provided, plus the fact that it was a non-functional non-application, he still managed to rack up these 16 awards:

The 16 awards Andy Brice got for his nom-functional non-application.

As regular readers of this blog know, I work for Tucows, whose original business was being a place that reviewed and hosted downloadable shareware.

Would we have given Andy Brice’s non-application an award? No. Why?

Silhouette of 5 cows: 'These 5 cows don't come easy'An award from Tucows is not given lightly. In fact, just to make it on to our site, a software title needs to maintain a minimum three cow rating, and it needs to generate downloads. Titles that do not maintain an appropriate level of popularity are removed from the library on our site.

We offer a truly “best of” collection of software. One of team members reviews every single piece of software that is submitted. In fact, over 70% of the submissions to Tucows are rejected because they fail to meet our stringent ratings criteria. In a nutshell, for Windows applications (we have different rating scales for Mac/Linux/Games, etc.), Tucows uses a 56-point rating scale with a large proportion of the rating based on usability (21 points), we allot up to 14 points for Help, Documentation and Support, 10 points for program enhancements, and 11 points for the opinion of the reviewer. The Tucows rating guide is so standardized, that a third-party site provides a “Tucows Rating Calculator” where software authors can analyze their title to get an idea of how it would rate on Tucows.

Cross-posted to the Tucows Developer Blog