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Zune "Big, Chunky, Blocky, Rushed, Incomplete, Barren, Derivative"

Big news day for Zune, and it's not really spinning in Microsoft's direction. The Wall Street Journal's Walter "Uncle Walt" Mossberg and the New York Times' David "I Haven't Got a Nickname for Him" Pogue both published their thoughts on Microsoft's new player today. Pogue bottom lines his experience this way:

Competition is good and all. But what, exactly, is the point of the Zune? It seems like an awful lot of duplication — in a bigger, heavier form with fewer features — just to indulge Microsoft’s “we want some o’ that” envy. Wireless sharing is the one big new idea — and if the public seems to respond, Apple could always add that to the iPod.

Then again, this is all standard Microsoft procedure. Version 1.0 of Microsoft Anything is stripped-down and derivative, but it’s followed by several years of slow but relentless refinement and marketing. Already, Microsoft says that new Zune features, models and accessories are in the pipeline.

For now, though, this game is for watching, not playing. It may be quite a while before brown is the new white.

While Mossberg concludes:

Overall, the iPod and iTunes are still the champs. Still, I expect the Zune to attract some converts and to get better with time. And this kind of competition from a big company with deep pockets and lots of talent is good for consumers in the long run.

So neither of them trashed Microsoft's newest pretender to the iPod throne, but this is a high-stakes game, and these aren't ringing endorsements, either.

Seriously, do you want your stuff being sold as "good for you in the long run?" That's the way you sell cod liver oil, not a digital music player.

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Microsoft Dances to Universal Music's Shakedown Tune; Will Pay Uni a Buck a Zune

I woke up to some sad news today: Microsoft, once the most feared company in the world, is a total wuss. They've cut a crazy deal with Universal Music Group to pay a $1 royalty for every Zune device they sell (in addition to any royalties for UMG music they actually manage to shift). The New York Times has the details:

In a rare move, Microsoft said yesterday that it had agreed to pay a percentage of the sales of its new portable media player to the Universal Music Group.

Universal Music, a unit of Vivendi, will receive a royalty on the Zune player in exchange for licensing its recordings for Microsoft’s new digital music service, the companies said.

UMG is shaking down the new kid on the digital music block, trying to get from them what they haven't been able to get from Apple: a cut of the hardware sales. Microsoft, desperate to have all the major labels on board, folded like a cheap suit, and set a precedent that'll affect their relationships with the other major labels (who probably have "most favored nation" clauses in their contracts with Redmond).

It's clear that the overriding motive for Microsoft was desperation:

In discussing the rationale for the royalty, Chris Stephenson, general manager for global marketing in Microsoft’s entertainment unit, said the company “needed people to rally behind” the new device and service.

“It’s a higher-level business relationship,” he said.

A higher level of punk-itude, maybe. Anyway, I'm sure it wasn't lost on anyone at Microsoft HQ that this would eventually make life tough for Apple when it came time to renegotiate their licenses with the majors.

The rationale for the major labels is simple: Apple's done better, in gross dollar and margin terms, from the hardware than they have from the music they've sold, and they want a piece of Apple's cake, too.

Remember, these companies have sold many of us the same music over and over again (In my case, I can pick out tracks on my iPod that I've bought on vinyl, tape, CD, and now as downloads). Apparently making money from the business they're supposed to be in isn't enough. The fact that every MB of disk space on an iPod isn't occupied by tracks from the iTunes Store  is all the backup UMG et al need to justify their position:

The move also reflects Universal’s recognition that, for all the runaway success of gadgets like the iPod, consumers are still not buying enough digital music to make up for declining sales of music on compact disk. Universal said it was only fair to receive payment on devices that may be repositories for stolen music.

“It’s a major change for the industry,” said David Geffen, the entertainment mogul who more than a decade ago sold the record label that bears his name to Universal. “Each of these devices is used to store unpaid-for material. This way, on top of the material people do pay for, the record companies are getting paid on the devices storing the copied music.”

He added: “It certainly changes the paradigm.”

Yes, from one where record labels got money for the music they sold, to one where they get money because they assume their customers are thieves.

It would appear that Universal's thirst for royalty justice is small, however: a one dollar royalty is, after all, the equivalent of one track per device. I'm with Om "GigaOm" Malik when he says:

If Apple had to pay at least $1 per device for every iPod sold over past two fiscal years, its cost would be $62 million at minimum: or about one more song per device. If music industry cannot sell one additional song to consumers (and has to blackmail for more money) then, you as a business, have lost grip over your core competency.

Which makes it all the more appalling that Microsoft has caved in. Surely Apple's precedent meant that they didn't have to.

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Apple Ditching the Mac, Keeping the PC

No, Apple's not licensing Mac OS X to Dell, they're getting rid of the "Mac guy" in their commercials. As Radar sees it:

Apple's "I'm a Mac" campaign is almost perfect: It's funny, memorable, and efficiently lays out the advantages of Macs over PCs. Its only defect: Virtually everyone who watches it comes away liking the "PC guy" while wanting to push the "Mac guy" under a bus.

Small wonder, then, that as Apple prepares a new batch of commercials, "Mac guy"—aka Justin Long, of Dodgeball and Herbie: Fully Loaded semi-fame—is nowhere to be found. A rep for Long confirms that his days as an Apple pitchman are over: "Every ad you see Justin in is for that previous time period only," she tells Radar. "There's no long-term deal with him." She adds (somewhat implausibly, perhaps), "Justin's a movie star, not a commercial guy."

Snotty much? He was in TV's Ed too, guys. Jeez.

I've always liked Justin's "I'm a Mac" character (to be fair, I'm the kind of insufferably superior Mac user normal people fantasize about beating up), but Hodgman really is the star of these little gems, even when Giselle Bundschen's onscreen. Frankly, finding someone to hold their own against Hodgman while striking the right tone will be tough.

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Gliffy

Gliffy: Slick, free, basic drawing tool a la Visio. Online and done in Flash. If you need to bang out a flowchart, or some basic UML, this is a pretty nifty option. Of course, you get a good helping of Web 2.0-style document collaboration features, allowing Gliffy users to share documents with others, allow them to edit, and keep track of document versioning. The best feature?

The ability to embed Gliffy-hosted images on your own site.

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MacBooks Now Sport Intel Core 2 Duo

MacNN (among many others) has the skinny:

Apple today unveiled its new MacBook featuring Intel Core 2 Duo processors and offering double the memory as well as greater storage capacity than the previous generation. The one-inch thin laptops are up to 25 percent faster than the previous generation, according to Apple, and maintain the built-in iSight video camera for on-the-go video conferencing alongside a double-layer SuperDrive for burning DVDs. The new notebooks also retain Apple's MagSafe Power Adapter that safely disconnects when under strain, and iLife '06, Apple's suite of digital lifestyle applications. The updated MacBooks start at $1,099 and include three models: white 1.83GHz and 2GHz MacBooks, as well as the black 2GHz MacBook.

So, faster, more RAM, more storage. Not a bad incremental update.

I want one. If I could afford it, I'd be getting it here.

Engadget and Gizmodo have their takes, too. Apple's official version of events is here.

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Pity the Poor VC

Yes, pity the poor East Coast VC, far from the summit of Mount Web 2.0, forced to go homeless in the cruelest city of all.

The Observer's Max Abelson reports that venture capitalist/blogger Fred Wilson has gone to contract on selling his 55-foot-wide 1847 townhouse at 11 West 10th Street. No word on the price, but it was listed through Sotheby's for a whopping $37.5 million. Yowza!

Consider this my open invitation to any and all VC firms in search of a new partner. I'm OK with selling out.

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Web 2.0 Summit: Hacked?

Dan “Technology Chronicles” Fost has the story of one plucky company (and their go-getting VC) end-running the gatekeepers of this week's Web 2.0 Summit in San Francisco:

So a lot of people who don't necessarily want to attend the sessions, or who couldn't get a ticket, can still show up and roam the halls and meet just about everyone they'd need to meet.

One company in particular is taking that concept to an art form. Mashery, led by CEO Oren Michels and investor Josh Kopelman, cleverly booked the Palace's Sonoma conference room as soon as the conference dates were announced.

“This is a guerilla launch,” Michels said. “We're not part of the conference.”

Instead, he had a room right at the center of the action, for “a fraction of the cost of a sponsorship.”

The room became a de facto party spot, with Mashery pouring 15 gallons of free margaritas for anyone who wandered in.

I dunno…is it really hacking or social engineering when 15 gallons of booze (Mash-aritas?) are applied to the situation? That's just shooting fish in a barrel.

Here's Mashery, in their own words (presumably written while sober). Cheers!

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