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“Duke Nukem Forever” Teaser Trailer

It’s out! Not Duke Nukem Forever, but its teaser trailer.

As I was watching the video, I kept thinking: Where’s the one liner?! I want the one-liner! Don’t worry. there’s one at the end.


Click here to see the video on its YouTube page.

If you want to get a higher-quality version of the video, this entry in the 3D Realms blog has all the details.

The question remains: will the game finally get released, and after all this time, will anyone care?

For those of you who’ve forgotten, here’s the trailer from Duke Nukem Forever, which was released at E3 1998:


Click here to see the video on its YouTube page.

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Could it Really Be…Duke Nukem?

“Duke Nukem” from “Duke Nukem forever”
Image taken from 3D Realms.

Here’s what the folks at 3D Realms have to say:

Last Saturday we had our annual company Christmas party. It was a lot of fun as usual but it featured one special surprise. It turns out that several people had been secretly working late nights and into the wee hours of the morning preparing a special video for those at the party. They created a short teaser for Duke Nukem Forever.

After seeing the teaser we thought it was something we should share with all of you and while it’s just a teaser, rest assured more is coming.

Tomorrow, Wednesday the 19th, around noon CST, we will release the first teaser trailer from Duke Nukem Forever.

Well, this should be interesting…

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“Bioshock” Meets a Shopping Cart

I love this Photoshop job in which Rapture (the setting of the game BioShock) propaganda replaces the standard “Do not leave child unattended” message on grocery shopping carts:

Grocery shopping cart plastic thingy marked “Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?”

The line is derived from the philosophy of game character Andrew Ryan (whose name and backstory are rearrangements of Ayn Rand). You hear it in an in-game recording in Ryan’s own voice:

I am Andrew Ryan, and I’m here to ask you a question: Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?

No, says the man in Washington. It belongs to the poor.

No, says the man in the Vatican. It belongs to God.

No, says the man in Moscow. It belongs to everyone.

I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible.

I chose…Rapture.

A city where the artist would not fear the censor. Where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality. Where the great would not be constrained by the small. And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city as well.

If you’re looking for a gift for someone with an XBox 360 or a PC with enough horsepower to play modern first-person shooter games, you might want to consider BioShock as a gift. It’s an excellent game that blends gaming action with a very rich backstory — quite possibly the richest since Myst. Better still, it’s can be finished in an amount of time that still lets you have a life: at the “easy” level, I finished it in a about a week, playing a couple of hours a day, and I’m a relatively casual gamer.

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1000 Copies of “Rock Band” Taken in Truck Heist

Screen shot from “Rock Band”

I remember watching an interview with William Gibson in which he talked about the 1992 L.A. Riots and the Digital Divide. He remarked that while many stores were looted, it was notable that a store that had laptop computers in their window display went untouched; he looters simply saw no value in them, whether for themselves or as things they could “fence”.

Looking at tech devices that people are stealing is a pretty good indicator of their mainstream appeal. Had the riots taken place today, the laptops would probably be among the first things taken by the looters. Here in Toronto, GPS navigation systems have replaced car stereos as the must-steal items.

As for console games, Rock Band has now been established as the most in-demand game, if you’re using theft as your yardstick of tech popularity. A truck carrying more than 1,000 copies of the XBox 360 the game — which includes a guitar, drum and mic controller — was hijacked in Long beach, California last weekend.

According to the L.A. Times article on the theft, “Thieves are increasingly targeting the nearly $260 billion of goods that move through the Los Angeles and Long Beach ports each year, especially targeting high-priced electronics shipped from Chinese factories.”

Meanwhile, we Canadians still have to wait — Rock Band’s Canadian release date has been delayed until the 17th.

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“Halo 3” Cheat Codes, as Explained by a Neglected Girlfriend

Angry woman brandishing a rolling pin and “Master Chief” from the “Halo” series of games

Here’s an excerpt from the McSweeneys article titled Halo 3 Cheat Codes, as Explained by Neglected Girlfriend Janet Iverson:

X, A, B, DOWN, RIGHT, Y: God mode. Total invincibility to all attacks. You can just stand there and the aliens can’t kill you. Heck, you could even put the controller down and they still can’t do anything. You could even walk away from the Xbox and—crazy idea—talk to someone who’s been sitting here for the past hour wondering if that was in fact an actual conversation she had earlier about going to the movies this afternoon and not just an incredibly realistic dream. In fact, you could come back to the game three hours later and you’d still have all your health. You could even come back to the game tomorrow — while a certain someone is working a 10-hour shift at Lane Bryant to pay the rent since someone else was recently “downsized” from Golden Swirl for “managerial reasons” that I’m sure were totally unrelated to his habit of napping in the service hallway—and you’d have the whole day all to yourself. Incredibly enough, Master Chief would be in fine, fine shape.

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“Grand Theft Auto IV” Package Art / New Trailer Coming December 6th

It’s a slow news day, so I thought I ‘d show you the package art for the upcoming Grand Theft Auto IV game, slated for release sometime in the new year. It looks like they don’t want to mess with success:

Package art for “Grand Theft Auto IV”
Needs more candy-licking!

According to the Grand Theft Auto IV site, a new video, titled Move Up, Ladies, will appear on December 6th at 3:00 p.m. EST.

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The World’s Best Gamers, Circa 1982

Here’s a photo that’s just over 25 years old — taken on November 7th, 1982, it’s a Life magazine photo featuring the best players of arcade games of that era:

“Best videogame players” photo spread from “Life” magazine, 1982
Rockin’ it old school in 1982! The best videogamers of 1982 pose by the games they’ve mastered. Click the photo to see it at a larger size.
Photo courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.

The games featured in the photo are:

For more about what happened when this photo was taken, see this article at Classic Arcade Gaming.